WARM UP (FOR THE SMART ASS)
ME: "thank you for calling technical support my name is van. how may i help you?"
CX: "you're name's what?"
ME: "that's van, 'vee- ey- en', van..."
CX: "oh gwen! listen gwen...."
JT: "thank you for calling technical support my name is joffrey. how may i help you?"
CX: "hi dorothy, i cant connect to the internet...(parang ang linaw nun ah)
ME: "...and what kind of router do we have?"
CHINESE CX: "oh, i'm usin the... i dont kno(w)... where do ah fahynd it?"
ME: "it's written on the box sir..."
CHINESE CX: "oh, okeh okeh. it say Linsky."
ME: "you mean Linksys"
CHINESE CX: "no no no! it say Linsky!!" (ayun naman!)
AGENT1: eh yung isang cx ko nga kanina yung router nya raw eh NETBEER! wahahahah!
AGENT2: wag ka! yung cx ko tawag nya sa modem nya eh WESWHALE!
AGENT3: sa 'kin nga modem nya daw eh WEBSTELL!
ME: "alright ma'am, dont touch the mouse yet so i can configure the settings for you"
CX: "wow! are you that one moving the mouse on my pc? my computer is like... possesed!" (may the power of christ compel you!)
AGENT: "what version of windows do we have on your computer?"
CX: "sure! i got a... Windows Explorer!"
CX: "there's nothing wrong with my computer!! i ran a scan, i defrag it, i'm a network engineer and i know a lot about computers and how it works!"
AGENT: "can you please check the ip address for me..."
CX: "how do you that?"(okay... baka naman di nya lang narinig ng mabuti...)
AGENT: "just type ipconfig on the command prompt sir."
CX: "what's the command prompt?!"(bravo! magaling! magaling!)
CX: "my son downloaded this thing called MOZILLA FOXFIRE and i dont know what it does..."
AGENT: "...which ones are lit up on the modem?"
CX: "i got the power, dsl, and UBS." (so please, charge your iPODS on a ubs port at the back of your pc...)
AGENT: "... please type your LOSERname and ASSword to sign in to your email..."
OVERHEARD
AGENT (tendency to be irate): "sir, open internet explorer... what do you see?... page cannot be displayed... t****na! ka- bobo naman 'to!... are you typing it right? just erase the site on the address bar! (and at an elevated and angry tone...) then type... no! dont type the www... just type google.com! that's GUUUUGEELLLL DAT COM! hay nako napaka bingi!! page cannot be displayed?!! type that again! and that's 'gee- ow- gee- gee- el ee...' dat com.. still page cannot be displayed??!!"
ME: uh... miss... that's 'gee- ow- ow- gee- el- ee' for google...
***i never saw that agent again...***
AGENT: "do you have any other devices near the modem like fax machines, hallogen LUMPS, satellite tv..."
ME: "yung katabi ko sabi nya... fax machines... hallogen LUMPS! bwahahaha!"
CK: "ay tanga!"
ME: "eh yun yung pronounciation nya eh! :))"
CK: "that's PRONUNCIATION. isa ka pa!"
EN: "ay... waaaaahahahah :))" (weh pahiya!)
...before being teammates--
AJ: "...forward slash, "sharing"... like sharing a cup of coffee..."
...after being teammates--
AJ: "... forward slash, "sharing"... like sharing the night together..." (wooh, yeah)
SPELLING BEE
JH: "type ipconfig... I as in india... P as in papa..."
Old lady cx: "T like Tom?"
JH: "no! P as in philippines!" (losing patience)
Old lady cx: "oh B!"
JH: "no! no! it's P!"
Old lady cx: "yah! T!!"
JH: "no! P! P as in papa, pennsylvania, philippines!!!
Old lady cx: "so that's 'i- p- p- p...'?"(arrgghhh)
AGENT (with a loud voice): "... T like tango... no! it's T sir, T!.. as in tom... no! no! T!! T like TEYNK YU!!"(cx got it from here...)
...on the first few weeks--
AGENT: "... okay... so... that's I for iguana, L for love..."
...after getting used on the floor--
AGENT: ... okay... so... that's I for iguana, L for Looshanna..." (meant Luisianna).
AGENT: "please type CMD..." (mute) CUSTOMER MUST DIE!!!
DSG: "can you verify to me the cx's ppp login on the account?"
ME: "sure that's Foxtrot- Romeo- Oscar- Lima- India- Charlie... uhhh... Kangaroo?... 213..."
DSG (chuckling): "that's frolick213.. right?"
ME: "yes..." (kangaroo?! the hell...)
DSG (still chuckling): "i'm sorry, what's the last letter again before 213?"
ME: "oh, that's K... for Kilo!"
DSG: "gotcha!" (napahiya na nga eh, hirit ka pa?!)











